Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Definition of Hockey

I was bored at home the other day and playing around on the intrawebs. I somehow stumbled across Cake Wrecks. As I was browsing through the older entries I found one that had a picture of what was supposed to be a cake for a hockey fan.

The author wasn't familiar with the sport and asked her husband to explain it to her. This is what she heard:

"See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one."

I just about pissed myself laughing after reading that. I don't think I've ever heard a more accurate definition of what most non sports enthusiasts hear when trying to understand a sport they don't care for or watch on a regular basis.

To see the cake in question and read her entire post go here

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Fast Times at Liquid Joe's Part II

For those of you that are new to my blog I've only been in SLC for a little over 2 years. For most of that time I was a home body. I was addicted to EverCrack, so no partying. If I did go out it was to a friends house and not a club. So I've only been out a couple of times and only to Area 51.

I left it up to him to suggest where we were going and he said Liquid Joe's they had 80's music. Sweet, I grew up in the 80's listening to top 40 pop in LA with Rick Dees in the morning. The Spazmatics were playing and they were awesome. So many great songs that I remember listening to growing up. I danced and drank yummy Uinta Hefeweizen. I had a blast. Best time I've had in years.

I hadn't eaten in like 8 hours by the time we got to the bar. So the beer went straight to my head. Normally I can handle more than 2 before I start feeling nauseous but not last night. Had to switch to water. I also didn't want to be drunk later.

It was inevitable that we would end up in bed together. He even asked me point blank if I wanted to have sex with him. Which I thought was really cute. If you knew who he was and what he looked like the answer for everyone that finds males attractive would most definitely be yes.

So I was a little looser than usual. I had a first. I came in public. We were waiting in line at the bar for another drink for him and water for me and he managed to get his hand to my special place. Now normally I would have stopped anyone that tried to do that. I'm not a public kind of girl. However I had grown the previous three days and didn't really care what anyone else thought of me. Plus I wasn't about to stop him from making me feel good. That hardest part though was not screaming in the bar. I had to bite him to keep that from happening.

Not long after that we left. We couldn't wait anymore. The previous four days of tension with the flirty messages was just too much build up for us to wait. We get back to his place and the clothes just fly off. No nervous build up on the couch with another drink or anything like that. Just clothes making a mess.

I'm not going to give you all of the details. Needless to say he obviously made quite an impression. No body has ever received a two part post before. Not even my ex, and he had pictures attached to his post.

The only bad part is that we had to cut it short. His son became ill and he had to take him to the ER which I'm totally okay with. Back to that loving father thing I mentioned Sunday. Good thing is he's only got strep and should be feeling better soon with his medication.

Monday, November 17, 2008

166 ... I do have a life. I just like movies.

SUPPOSEDLY, if you've seen over 85 [of these] films, you have no life. I do have a life. I just love movies. There are 238 movies on this list.

If you would like to copy this to your blog and show the world how much of a life you don't have the rules are as follows.

  1. Copy the entire list.
  2. Bold the ones you have seen
  3. Post to your blog

  1. Rocky Horror Picture Show
  2. Grease
  3. Pirates of the Caribbean
  4. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
  5. Boondock Saints
  6. Fight Club
  7. Starsky and Hutch
  8. Neverending Story
  9. Blazing Saddles
  10. Airplane!
  11. The Princess Bride
  12. AnchorMan
  13. Napoleon Dynamite
  14. Labyrinth
  15. Saw
  16. Saw II
  17. White Noise
  18. White Oleander
  19. Anger Management
  20. 50 First Dates
  21. The Princess Diaries
  22. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
  23. Scream
  24. Scream 2
  25. Scream 3
  26. Scary Movie
  27. Scary Movie 2
  28. Scary Movie 3
  29. Scary Movie 4
  30. American Pie
  31. American Pie 2
  32. American Wedding
  33. American Pie Band Camp
  34. Harry Potter 1
  35. Harry Potter 2
  36. Harry Potter 3
  37. Harry Potter 4
  38. Resident Evil 1
  39. Resident Evil 2
  40. The Wedding Singer
  41. Little Black Book
  42. The Village
  43. Lilo & Stitch
  44. Finding Nemo
  45. Finding Neverland
  46. Signs
  47. The Grinch
  48. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  49. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
  50. White Chicks
  51. Butterfly Effect
  52. 13 Going on 30
  53. I, Robot
  54. Robots
  55. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
  56. Universal Soldier
  57. Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
  58. Along Came Polly
  59. Deep Impact
  60. KingPin
  61. Never Been Kissed
  62. Meet The Parents
  63. Meet the Fockers
  64. Eight Crazy Nights
  65. Joe Dirt
  67. A Cinderella Story
  68. The Terminal
  69. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
  70. Passport to Paris
  71. Dumb & Dumber
  72. Dumber & Dumberer
  73. Final Destination
  74. Final Destination 2
  75. Final Destination 3
  76. Halloween
  77. The Ring
  78. The Ring 2
  79. Surviving X-MAS
  80. Flubber
  81. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
  82. Practical Magic
  83. Chicago
  84. Ghost Ship
  85. From Hell
  86. Hellboy
  87. Secret Window
  88. I Am Sam
  89. The Whole Nine Yards
  90. The Whole Ten Yards
  91. The Day After Tomorrow
  92. Child's Play
  93. Seed of Chucky
  94. Bride of Chucky
  95. Ten Things I Hate About You
  96. Just Married
  97. Gothika
  98. Nightmare on Elm Street
  99. Sixteen Candles
  100. Remember the Titans
  101. Coach Carter
  102. The Grudge
  103. The Grudge 2
  104. The Mask
  105. Son Of The Mask
  106. Bad Boys
  107. Bad Boys 2
  108. Joy Ride
  109. Lucky Number Slevin
  110. Ocean's Eleven
  111. Ocean's Twelve
  112. Bourne Identity
  113. Bourne Supremecy
  114. Lone Star
  115. Bedazzled
  116. Predator I
  117. Predator II
  118. The Fog
  119. Ice Age
  120. Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
  121. Curious George
  122. Independence Day
  123. Cujo
  124. A Bronx Tale
  125. Darkness Falls
  126. Christine
  127. ET
  128. Children of the Corn
  129. My Bosses Daughter
  130. Maid in Manhattan
  131. War of the Worlds
  132. Rush Hour
  133. Rush Hour 2
  134. Best Bet
  135. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
  136. She's All That
  137. Calendar Girls
  138. Sideways
  139. Mars Attacks (Ack! Ack! Ack!)
  140. Event Horizon
  141. Ever After
  142. Wizard of Oz
  143. Forrest Gump
  144. Big Trouble in Little China
  145. The Terminator
  146. The Terminator 2
  147. The Terminator 3
  148. X-Men
  149. X-2
  150. X-3
  151. Spider-Man
  152. Spider-Man 2
  153. Sky High
  154. Jeepers Creepers
  155. Jeepers Creepers 2
  156. Catch Me If You Can
  157. The Little Mermaid
  158. Freaky Friday
  159. Reign of Fire
  160. The Skulls
  161. Cruel Intentions
  162. Cruel Intentions 2
  163. The Hot Chick
  164. Shrek
  165. Shrek 2
  166. Swimfan
  167. Miracle on 34th street
  168. Old School
  169. The Notebook
  170. K-Pax
  171. Krippendorf's Tribe
  172. A Walk to Remember
  173. Ice Castles
  174. Boogeyman
  175. The 40-year-old Virgin
  176. Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
  177. Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
  178. Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
  179. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
  180. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
  181. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
  182. Baseketball
  183. Hostel
  184. Waiting for Guffman
  185. House of 1000 Corpses
  186. Devils Rejects
  187. Elf
  188. Highlander
  189. Mothman Prophecies
  190. American History X
  191. Three
  192. The Jacket
  193. Kung Fu Hustle
  194. Shaolin Soccer
  195. Night Watch
  196. Monsters Inc.
  197. Titanic
  198. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  199. Shaun Of the Dead
  200. Willard
  201. High Tension
  202. Club Dread
  203. Hulk
  204. Dawn Of the Dead
  205. Hook
  206. Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
  207. 28 days later
  208. Orgazmo
  209. Phantasm
  210. Waterworld
  211. Kill Bill vol 1
  212. Kill Bill vol 2
  213. Mortal Kombat
  214. Wolf Creek
  215. Kingdom of Heaven
  216. The Hills Have Eyes
  217. I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
  218. The Last House on the Left
  219. Re-Animator
  220. Army of Darkness
  221. Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
  222. Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
  223. Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
  224. Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
  225. Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
  226. Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
  227. Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
  228. Ewoks The Battle For Endor
  229. The Matrix
  230. The Matrix Reloaded
  231. The Matrix Revolutions
  232. Animatrix
  233. Evil Dead
  234. Evil Dead 2
  235. Team America: World Police
  236. Red Dragon
  237. Silence of the Lambs
  238. Hannibal


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Fast Times at Liquid Joes Part I

Remember that post a few days back about me joining MySpace. Well I did. While I was there I figured I might as well use it as it's intended. To promote this blog and make new friends.

So I met this guy, but wait that's not the right way to start. We need to back up a little bit. Earlier this week I received a message from a wonderful man. He apparently found me while playing on Myspace. Here's an excerpt from his first message to me.

First of all, I think you're profile picture is amazing! Very mysterious, beautiful, and sexy all in one shot.

How am I going to ignore a message like that? So I respond like a typical bad receiver, more on the receiver part later, with thank you but... He responded back with this.

Something about that picture...makes me want to kiss you.

Well shit. Now how is a girl supposed to resist that? You tell me. So I send him a link to a larger version of the picture with the promise of another one that's a little more risque and he comes back with.

Yep, same effect. I still want to kiss her. Great mouth...

So know that I know that he likes kissing, one point in the go for it column, I have to meet him. We had been talking about other things in these messages as well. Like what kind of music we like, what topics we like to discuss, what we like to consume while having these discussions. Just general get to know you stuff. He knows quite a bit more about me than I do him at this point, because I am so candid here and most of his blog entries are about his children. Which I think is awesome. He loves his kids and really cares about them and their future one more point in the go for it column.

We decide that we have to meet. Bad thing is I have a three day seminar Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So I'm not available until Saturday night at seven. Of course the night I want to get out on time, or even early like the other two nights, we run long. S'ok though because he got called into work and wasn't available until later anyway.

We spent the next three days texting each other. On my breaks at the seminar, or just when I got bored, because just like any training company that has multiple courses they push the other courses while you're there. Like the last 45 minutes of each session was telling us how awesome these other courses are and we should go sign up now because it's only going to be this cheap this weekend. blah blah blah. Sense of urgency and all that.

Come back Tuesday for the rest.