Definition of Hockey

I was bored at home the other day and playing around on the intrawebs. I somehow stumbled across Cake Wrecks. As I was browsing through the older entries I found one that had a picture of what was supposed to be a cake for a hockey fan.

The author wasn't familiar with the sport and asked her husband to explain it to her. This is what she heard:

"See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one."

I just about pissed myself laughing after reading that. I don't think I've ever heard a more accurate definition of what most non sports enthusiasts hear when trying to understand a sport they don't care for or watch on a regular basis.

To see the cake in question and read her entire post go here

Fast Times at Liquid Joe's Part II

For those of you that are new to my blog I've only been in SLC for a little over 2 years. For most of that time I was a home body. I was addicted to EverCrack, so no partying. If I did go out it was to a friends house and not a club. So I've only been out a couple of times and only to Area 51.

I left it up to him to suggest where we were going and he said Liquid Joe's they had 80's music. Sweet, I grew up in the 80's listening to top 40 pop in LA with Rick Dees in the morning. The Spazmatics were playing and they were awesome. So many great songs that I remember listening to growing up. I danced and drank yummy Uinta Hefeweizen. I had a blast. Best time I've had in years.

I hadn't eaten in like 8 hours by the time we got to the bar. So the beer went straight to my head. Normally I can handle more than 2 before I start feeling nauseous but not last night. Had to switch to water. I also didn't want to be drunk later.

It was inevitable that we would end up in bed together. He even asked me point blank if I wanted to have sex with him. Which I thought was really cute. If you knew who he was and what he looked like the answer for everyone that finds males attractive would most definitely be yes.

So I was a little looser than usual. I had a first. I came in public. We were waiting in line at the bar for another drink for him and water for me and he managed to get his hand to my special place. Now normally I would have stopped anyone that tried to do that. I'm not a public kind of girl. However I had grown the previous three days and didn't really care what anyone else thought of me. Plus I wasn't about to stop him from making me feel good. That hardest part though was not screaming in the bar. I had to bite him to keep that from happening.

Not long after that we left. We couldn't wait anymore. The previous four days of tension with the flirty messages was just too much build up for us to wait. We get back to his place and the clothes just fly off. No nervous build up on the couch with another drink or anything like that. Just clothes making a mess.

I'm not going to give you all of the details. Needless to say he obviously made quite an impression. No body has ever received a two part post before. Not even my ex, and he had pictures attached to his post.

The only bad part is that we had to cut it short. His son became ill and he had to take him to the ER which I'm totally okay with. Back to that loving father thing I mentioned Sunday. Good thing is he's only got strep and should be feeling better soon with his medication.

166 ... I do have a life. I just like movies.

SUPPOSEDLY, if you've seen over 85 [of these] films, you have no life. I do have a life. I just love movies. There are 238 movies on this list.

If you would like to copy this to your blog and show the world how much of a life you don't have the rules are as follows.

1. Copy the entire list.
   
2. Bold the ones you have seen
   
3. Post to your blog
   

1. Rocky Horror Picture Show
   
2. Grease
   
3. Pirates of the Caribbean
   
4. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
   
5. Boondock Saints
   
6. Fight Club
   
7. Starsky and Hutch
   
8. Neverending Story
   
9. Blazing Saddles
   
10. Airplane!
    
11. The Princess Bride
    
12. AnchorMan
    
13. Napoleon Dynamite
    
14. Labyrinth
    
15. Saw
    
16. Saw II
    
17. White Noise
    
18. White Oleander
    
19. Anger Management
    
20. 50 First Dates
    
21. The Princess Diaries
    
22. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
    
23. Scream
    
24. Scream 2
    
25. Scream 3
    
26. Scary Movie
    
27. Scary Movie 2
    
28. Scary Movie 3
    
29. Scary Movie 4
    
30. American Pie
    
31. American Pie 2
    
32. American Wedding
    
33. American Pie Band Camp
    
34. Harry Potter 1
    
35. Harry Potter 2
    
36. Harry Potter 3
    
37. Harry Potter 4
    
38. Resident Evil 1
    
39. Resident Evil 2
    
40. The Wedding Singer
    
41. Little Black Book
    
42. The Village
    
43. Lilo & Stitch
    
44. Finding Nemo
    
45. Finding Neverland
    
46. Signs
    
47. The Grinch
    
48. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
    
49. Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
    
50. White Chicks
    
51. Butterfly Effect
    
52. 13 Going on 30
    
53. I, Robot
    
54. Robots
    
55. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
    
56. Universal Soldier
    
57. Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
    
58. Along Came Polly
    
59. Deep Impact
    
60. KingPin
    
61. Never Been Kissed
    
62. Meet The Parents
    
63. Meet the Fockers
    
64. Eight Crazy Nights
    
65. Joe Dirt
    
66. KING KONG
    
67. A Cinderella Story
    
68. The Terminal
    
69. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
    
70. Passport to Paris
    
71. Dumb & Dumber
    
72. Dumber & Dumberer
    
73. Final Destination
    
74. Final Destination 2
    
75. Final Destination 3
    
76. Halloween
    
77. The Ring
    
78. The Ring 2
    
79. Surviving X-MAS
    
80. Flubber
    
81. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
    
82. Practical Magic
    
83. Chicago
    
84. Ghost Ship
    
85. From Hell
    
86. Hellboy
    
87. Secret Window
    
88. I Am Sam
    
89. The Whole Nine Yards
    
90. The Whole Ten Yards
    
91. The Day After Tomorrow
    
92. Child's Play
    
93. Seed of Chucky
    
94. Bride of Chucky
    
95. Ten Things I Hate About You
    
96. Just Married
    
97. Gothika
    
98. Nightmare on Elm Street
    
99. Sixteen Candles
    
100. Remember the Titans
     
101. Coach Carter
     
102. The Grudge
     
103. The Grudge 2
     
104. The Mask
     
105. Son Of The Mask
     
106. Bad Boys
     
107. Bad Boys 2
     
108. Joy Ride
     
109. Lucky Number Slevin
     
110. Ocean's Eleven
     
111. Ocean's Twelve
     
112. Bourne Identity
     
113. Bourne Supremecy
     
114. Lone Star
     
115. Bedazzled
     
116. Predator I
     
117. Predator II
     
118. The Fog
     
119. Ice Age
     
120. Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
     
121. Curious George
     
122. Independence Day
     
123. Cujo
     
124. A Bronx Tale
     
125. Darkness Falls
     
126. Christine
     
127. ET
     
128. Children of the Corn
     
129. My Bosses Daughter
     
130. Maid in Manhattan
     
131. War of the Worlds
     
132. Rush Hour
     
133. Rush Hour 2
     
134. Best Bet
     
135. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
     
136. She's All That
     
137. Calendar Girls
     
138. Sideways
     
139. Mars Attacks (Ack! Ack! Ack!)
     
140. Event Horizon
     
141. Ever After
     
142. Wizard of Oz
     
143. Forrest Gump
     
144. Big Trouble in Little China
     
145. The Terminator
     
146. The Terminator 2
     
147. The Terminator 3
     
148. X-Men
     
149. X-2
     
150. X-3
     
151. Spider-Man
     
152. Spider-Man 2
     
153. Sky High
     
154. Jeepers Creepers
     
155. Jeepers Creepers 2
     
156. Catch Me If You Can
     
157. The Little Mermaid
     
158. Freaky Friday
     
159. Reign of Fire
     
160. The Skulls
     
161. Cruel Intentions
     
162. Cruel Intentions 2
     
163. The Hot Chick
     
164. Shrek
     
165. Shrek 2
     
166. Swimfan
     
167. Miracle on 34th street
     
168. Old School
     
169. The Notebook
     
170. K-Pax
     
171. Krippendorf's Tribe
     
172. A Walk to Remember
     
173. Ice Castles
     
174. Boogeyman
     
175. The 40-year-old Virgin
     
176. Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
     
177. Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
     
178. Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
     
179. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
     
180. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
     
181. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
     
182. Baseketball
     
183. Hostel
     
184. Waiting for Guffman
     
185. House of 1000 Corpses
     
186. Devils Rejects
     
187. Elf
     
188. Highlander
     
189. Mothman Prophecies
     
190. American History X
     
191. Three
     
192. The Jacket
     
193. Kung Fu Hustle
     
194. Shaolin Soccer
     
195. Night Watch
     
196. Monsters Inc.
     
197. Titanic
     
198. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
     
199. Shaun Of the Dead
     
200. Willard
     
201. High Tension
     
202. Club Dread
     
203. Hulk
     
204. Dawn Of the Dead
     
205. Hook
     
206. Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
     
207. 28 days later
     
208. Orgazmo
     
209. Phantasm
     
210. Waterworld
     
211. Kill Bill vol 1
     
212. Kill Bill vol 2
     
213. Mortal Kombat
     
214. Wolf Creek
     
215. Kingdom of Heaven
     
216. The Hills Have Eyes
     
217. I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
     
218. The Last House on the Left
     
219. Re-Animator
     
220. Army of Darkness
     
221. Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
     
222. Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
     
223. Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
     
224. Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
     
225. Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
     
226. Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
     
227. Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
     
228. Ewoks The Battle For Endor
     
229. The Matrix
     
230. The Matrix Reloaded
     
231. The Matrix Revolutions
     
232. Animatrix
     
233. Evil Dead
     
234. Evil Dead 2
     
235. Team America: World Police
     
236. Red Dragon
     
237. Silence of the Lambs
     
238. Hannibal
     

Fast Times at Liquid Joes Part I

Remember that post a few days back about me joining MySpace. Well I did. While I was there I figured I might as well use it as it's intended. To promote this blog and make new friends.

So I met this guy, but wait that's not the right way to start. We need to back up a little bit. Earlier this week I received a message from a wonderful man. He apparently found me while playing on Myspace. Here's an excerpt from his first message to me.

First of all, I think you're profile picture is amazing! Very mysterious, beautiful, and sexy all in one shot.

How am I going to ignore a message like that? So I respond like a typical bad receiver, more on the receiver part later, with thank you but... He responded back with this.

Something about that picture...makes me want to kiss you.

Well shit. Now how is a girl supposed to resist that? You tell me. So I send him a link to a larger version of the picture with the promise of another one that's a little more risque and he comes back with.

Yep, same effect. I still want to kiss her. Great mouth...

So know that I know that he likes kissing, one point in the go for it column, I have to meet him. We had been talking about other things in these messages as well. Like what kind of music we like, what topics we like to discuss, what we like to consume while having these discussions. Just general get to know you stuff. He knows quite a bit more about me than I do him at this point, because I am so candid here and most of his blog entries are about his children. Which I think is awesome. He loves his kids and really cares about them and their future one more point in the go for it column.

We decide that we have to meet. Bad thing is I have a three day seminar Thursday, Friday and Saturday. So I'm not available until Saturday night at seven. Of course the night I want to get out on time, or even early like the other two nights, we run long. S'ok though because he got called into work and wasn't available until later anyway.

We spent the next three days texting each other. On my breaks at the seminar, or just when I got bored, because just like any training company that has multiple courses they push the other courses while you're there. Like the last 45 minutes of each session was telling us how awesome these other courses are and we should go sign up now because it's only going to be this cheap this weekend. blah blah blah. Sense of urgency and all that.

Come back Tuesday for the rest.